Dear fanfiction writers,
by H o r i z o n s
Summary: Humorous letters to fanfiction writers focusing on what the characters would say in response to the clichés stories some fanfiction writers write. Canon universe and pairings, mostly.  Drabble Fic. Suggestions are most welcome. R&R please!
1. Sincerely Harry Potter

**A/N This is the start of my fic I will update regularly. This is the first one hope you enjoy it. I will point out now that this is a humour fic.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

I am a boy.

Sincerely Harry Potter

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	2. Sincerely Draco Malfoy

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites. They make my day so just for you guys here is the next chapter. I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

I would like to point out that I, Draco Malfoy, am not nor ever will be a veela. I'm just an incredibly sexy **straight **wizard. I do not have a sister in Gryffindor and I would NEVER touch a filthy mudblood like Granger in my life.

Sincerely, Draco Malfoy

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	3. Sincerely Padfoot & Moony

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites. They make my day so just for you guys here is the next chapter. I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

We are not together.

Sincerely Padfoot & Moony

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	4. Sincerely Ginny Weasley

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites. They make me a very happy bunny, so here is the next chapter and yeah it is a tribute to mean girls.**

******Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me, but I can't help it that I'm popular.

Sincerely Ginny Weasley

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	5. Sincerely Hermione Granger

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites. Due to the amazing response to the last chapter and in a fit of half-term related goodwill, I have decided to post the next chapter super quick. I'm so glad you guys like the story. Keep reviewing it makes me smile super hard :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

Spell-check is legal, use it.

Sincerely Hermione Granger

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	6. Sincerely Hogwarts professors

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites. I'd like to give a big shout out to ****RemmyBlack**** who has been a faithful reviewer from the start, though I love all my reviewers, I just wanted to give her a shout out 'cause, well she's awesome. Now here is the next chapter of Dear fanfiction writers, I hope you like it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

Student-Professor relationships do **NOT** happen under any circumstances.

Sincerely, Hogwarts professors

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	7. Sincerely Sirius Black

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites. I do love them very much (gives everyone a massive grin). Here's the next chapter, I'm on a roll. :P**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. **

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

I do not pun my name that much, siriusly.

Sincerely Sirius Black

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	8. Sincerely Ronald Weasley

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites. Let's try and get up to 50 reviews please! Virtual cookies to everyone who reviews! :D Also I want to do one on Mary-Sues any ideas?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. **

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

Nice to know I'm loved.

Sincerely Ronald Weasley

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	9. Sincerely Fred and George Weasley

**********A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites. We got well over 50, we got over 60! Kept reviewing, I love you all. What would you guys most like to see next? :D **

**********Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. **

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Dear FanFiction writers,

Me and George, together? For crying out loud, what goes on in your minds? Also while we're talking please stop pairing us with Hermione, little Ronnie-kins is getting jealous and we can't have that now can we?

Sincerely Fred and George Weasley

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**A/N Read and review please! :) **


	10. Sincerely the ONLY boy who lived

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites. I'm sorry to tell you that the updates will be slowing down a bit now, I'm away all weekend and then it's back to school. For me school has to come first so that means slightly slower updates, most likely every other day, but it depends on how much homework school sets. I hope you enjoy this chapter and if you do review and tell me. Aim for 100!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. **

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

I am an only child.

Sincerely Harry Potter (a.k.a the **ONLY **boy who lived)

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	11. Sincerely a lot of people

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites. I could bore you with stories of my life and why I took forever updating, but I won't. So just enjoy the chapter and I promise updates will be quicker from now on. :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or _Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way_.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

This is an official petition to stop pairing us off with these ridiculously perfect girls, who are beautiful, clever, kind and "perfect in every way". We don't like them. They're not real. Frankly they are a bit scary. How come they all have real tragic pasts and we have to "heal them" or we "heal together"? How come they win every fight ever? How come every-one likes them? How come they have such silly names like _Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way. _No-one is EVER perfect so stop making them perfect. We would rather be alone then with some of these people.

Sincerely:

Sirius Black

Draco Malfoy

Harry Potter

Severus Snape

Fred Weasley

George Weasley

Ronald Weasley

Remus Lupin

Neville Longbottom

Oliver Wood

Cedric Diggory

Charlie Weasley

and many others.

P.S. I will never love – Tom Riddle (a.k.a Voldemort)

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	12. Sincerely Ministry of Magic

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites. I was quicker this time! Let's aim for 130!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

Can you all stop saying that we're sending out a Marriage Law. We won't. There  
is a freedom to love anyone.

Sincerely Ministry of Magic

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**A/N This chapter was brought to you by ****Broken ArchAngel.****Read and review please! :)**


	13. Sincerely Wizards

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites. It's Friday! Hooray! Here is the next chapter to celebrate! :D **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

Men cannot get pregnant! If you're born a man giving birth is out of the question. Get over it.

Sincerely Wizards

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	14. Sincerely Severus Snape

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites. I love everyone who reviews! Just to point this out, I don't hate ****all**** clichés, in fact I like some of them a lot. Trust me this is not the end of Snape.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

I will never adopt Harry Potter.

Sincerely Severus Snape

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	15. Sincerely Lily Potter

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and ****favourites****. The last chapter got 21 reviews! That's amazing! Before we get to the chapter quick question for Tonks what would you guys like her to say most? There's just so much she can say. :P**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

**James** is the father.

Sincerely Lily Potter (née Evans)

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	16. Sincerely Voldemort

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and ****favourites****. Let's get over 200! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

You stupid morons, AVADA KEDAVRA!

Sincerely Voldemort

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	17. Sincerely Minerva McGonagall

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and ****favourites****. This chapter is to celebrate getting over 16000 hits!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

Albus and I are colleagues not lovers.

Sincerely Minerva McGonagall

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	18. Sincerely Hermione Weasley

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and ****favourites****!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

I'm in love with Ronald Weasley. Get over it.

Sincerely Hermione **Weasley**

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	19. Sincerely Bellatrix Lestrange

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! Can we get to 300? That would make me very happy! :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

I don't have any children, I hate children.

Sincerely Bellatrix Lestrange

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	20. Sincerely Harry Potter 2

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and ****favourites****! We reached our target and over! Thank you, it means a lot to know that people like this story! So Snape is coming soon what would you like to see in his lovely little note?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

I went to Hogwarts.

Sincerely Harry Potter

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	21. Sincerely Severus Snape 2

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and ****favourites****! Sorry this took so long, Dumbledore is coming next! Thanks for the people who reviewed my other story as well! :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

I **HATE** the marauders, all of them. That will **never** change.

Sincerely Severus Snape

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**A/N ****This chapter was inspired by** RemmyBlack! **Read and review please! :)**


	22. Sincerely Albus Dumbledore

**LOST! WILL RE-DO! I MAY HAVE GOT RID OF THE BACK-UP THOUGH! I'LL SORT OUT WHEN I GET BACK FROM MY TRIP!  
**


	23. Sincerely a highly amused Remus Lupin

**A/****N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! Amazing response to the last chapter the most reviews yet! Could we get to 400? That would be amazing! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

You have made my day! The look on Sirius's face is priceless. Thank you, writers of Sirius/Snape slash, for giving me a good laugh and a lot of new material for teasing.

Sincerely a highly amused Remus Lupin

P.S. Sirius just threw up.

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**A/N Read and ****review**** please! :)**


	24. Sincerely Sirius

**A/****N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! Amazing response to the last chapter, broke the record for most reviews again! A lot of you suggested I do a sort of reply, I had actually intended to do just that which is why I didn't mention Remus/Snape in his letter. Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

Although Remus found it amusing, I did not. On the up side though I just found Remus/Snape slash so now I can tease him straight back. Siriusly stop, I'm not gay. Remus would like me to add that neither is he.

Sincerely Sirius

P.S. You owe me my lunch.

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**A/N Read and ****review ****please! :)**


	25. Sincerely Tom Riddle

**A/****N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! You guys are a m a z i n g! I'm sorry this took so long, school has been a pain. Anyway back now for the weekend! Does anyone have any really good Neville/Luna fics? :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

Stop sending filthy idiots back in time to 'dispose' of me and then finding that they can't because we have fallen in _love_. How many times do I have to tell you I don't love! Even **DUMBLEDORE** understood that. Morons, go see my future self, he'll kill you. You'll find him on the back of some guys head.

Sincerely Tom Riddle

P.S. Tell him to throw in a few crucios as well.

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	26. Sincerely Luna Lovegood

**A/****N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! Over 500, I'm so glad you guys like my story. Everytime I get a review it makes me feel really happy! Sorry for the long wait been busy busy busy. Anyway finally found the time to update, so I hope you like it! I'm off to India for two weeks! That does mean no updates, sorry. I'll update when I get back! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

I think your brains are full of Wrackspurts.

Sincerely Luna Lovegood

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**A/N Read and ****review**** please! :)**


	27. Sincerely Harry and Ron

**A/N I'M BACK! India is hot, very hot. Time differences woke me up at 5:37 this morning. I couldn't get back to sleep so I checked my emails and there were loads of emails telling me people had put this on their favourites, alerts and reviewed this story! Thank you guys once again! I hope you like this chapter! :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

Have we ever called **Her**mione 'Mione? No, we haven't so stop making us call her that.

Sincerely Harry and Ron

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	28. Sincerely  Severus Snape

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and ****favourites****! Sorry this took forever! I find the Snapes hair jokes very funny, but I don't think Snape would! :P**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

I am the potions master. Being the potions master, I work with potions on a regularly bases. The potion fumes make my hair greasy. IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T WASH IT! Enough with the hair jokes.

Sincerely Severus Snape

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**A/N Idea from angelhitomie Read and review please! :)**


	29. Sincerely Characters

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! A lot of people have said that Ron did in fact call Hermione 'Mione once, when he had his mouth full. I did in fact know this, but I doubt he would remember that. That's why I didn't put that in the letter, just to clear that up :D. Sorry this took forever stupid revision :/. Anyways what do you guys most wanna see next? :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

If you're going to write about us, at least spell our names right.

Sincerely Characters

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	30. Sincerely Albus Severus Potter

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! 700! I love you guys! This is for all you lovely reviewers! 700 reviews in 30 chapters? :D :D Made my week.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

I know, what _were_ they thinking?

Sincerely Albus Severus Potter

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	31. Sincerely Draco Malfoy 2

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! I'm sorry this took ages, but things have been really busy aroud here! Here is the next chapter, I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear FanFiction Writers,

I can't quite remember the moment I fell in love with Granger, maybe it was when I joined the Order of Phoenix or perhaps it was when I switched to Gryffindor instead of Slytherin. Oh no, wait it has to be when I changed into a girl and started snogging Harry Potter every chance I got. Seriously, are you mental? I will never be with a mudblood and definitely not Granger.

Sincerely Draco Malfoy

P.S. There's a special ward in St Mungos for people like you... keep a look out for the men in white cloaks.

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	32. Sincerely Helga Hufflepuff

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! This chapter is from Kingsdaughter613! I'm going away next week with school so no updates for a while! I hope you like this chapter though!  
**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dearest FanFiction Writers,

I was already married when we built the school. And I do not lose my temper very often. Nor am I as dreamy or as weak as you portray me. If it is not to much trouble please stop doing this.

Thank you.

Sincerely Helga Hufflepuff

P.S. Please tell Godric that a hat is not a place for a sword, and let Salazar know that a school is not a safe place for a basilisk. Thank you dearie.

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	33. Sincerely Prongs with a little help

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! OMG! It's been forever since I updated I'm so sorry! I had some pretty crap news last week so lost my 'funny' writing. On a lighter note, it's my birthday on Friday! WOO! **

This is James.

**This is Sirius.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

Counting isn't that hard 1, 2, 3, 4, even Sirius can do that. **Oi! **There are **4** marauders not _5_. There isn't another marauder, just me, Moony, Padfoot **(Gods gift to women)** and Wormtail. 1, 2, 3, 4.

Sincerely Prongs with a little help from Sirius

P.S. 1, 2, 3, 4.

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	34. Sincerely Harry Potter 3

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! 1000? 1000? THANK YOU! That's all I can really say, just thank you all for reviewing! I'm sorry I haven't updated in ages. I'm off to France today! :) I wanted to update before leaving so here is the next chapter:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

Wha... Oh sorry brb Vernon's got the whip again.

Sincerely Harry Potter

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	35. Sincerely Cedric Diggory

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! I'm back from France! :) It was good, thanks to anyone who asked. I finallly watched A Very Potter Musical on youtube! IT IS SO FUNNY! I want you all to watch it right now. I'm off to watch the sequel after this chapter. I'm sorry if you haven't watched it cause you won't get some of this letter. :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

I FIND your stories about me very annoying. I'm just a spare, a complication in Harry/Cho stories. You FIND my new career amusing. You're just jealous 'cause you don't sparkle.

Sincerely Cedric Diggory

P.S. SEND ME TO PIGFARTS! I don't wanna be a freakin' sparkling vampire!

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**A/N I sense the next chapter will be AVPM/AVPS related too. Read and review please! :)**


	36. Sincerely an unhappy squirrel

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! Answer my poll to decide the next chapter! This is my favourite review ever (I love them all, but this one was very funny) from Pigfarts-It's On Mars:**

**In all seriousness though, RIP Cedric Diggory. A noble man. Destined for Pigfarts. Killed by sparkles.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

I was not as "happy as a squirrel when I'm with Mr. Quirrel."

Sincerely Voldemort (a.k.a. an unhappy squirrel)

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	37. Sincerely Regulus Black

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! The poll is still there so vote again for the next one! Slightly sad one, but it's the one you guys voted on! :D**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

I **did **miss him. When he didn't write to me. I never understood why I was ignored as well. I didn't care he was in Gryffindor he was still my brother and I still loved him.

He _p r o m i s e d_ me. That_ b r o k e_ just like our friendship.

Sincerely Regulus Black

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	38. Sincerely Hermione Granger 2

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and**** favourites****! Keep voting! To clarify I don't think the characters would be against ever cliché, so the last one was agreeing with us and slightly sad cause I was sad.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

Do you think I'd leave my time turner lying around? I'm not called the brightest witch of my age for nothing.

Sincerely Hermione Granger

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	39. Sincerely Tonks, just Tonks

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and**** favourites****! I'm going to use Harry Potter terms :D Why you ask? Well, why not? I'm back to Hogwarts tomorrow and I'm starting my O.W.L.S I am rather like Hermione, I care about my grades alot. I'm sorry in advance. Who's in Pottermore? I am! What do you guys think of it? Enjoy this chapter! :D **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter **

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

As much as I love Remus, he still cannot call me that name.

Sincerely **Tonks**, just Tonks

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	40. Sincerely Hermione Granger and me!

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and**** favourites****! *Ducks tomatoes* Yes I suck I know, school is killing me. Three essays to write, one is in french... -_- Enjoy the chapter, it's a long one for everyone who wanted it and to make up for the _long_ wait. :) I persuaded my boyfriend to watch AVPM. Be proud ;) I also found a giant tub of Red Vines at Costco. Needless to say I now have it next to me as I type.**

_(Ron) Hermione doesn't know about his 'additions' :P_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter **

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

R.E. Society for the Promotion of Elfish Wefare also know as S.P.E.W

It has come to my attention that many of you support our noble _(stupid)_ cause, and rightly so! We here at S.P.E.W headquarters strive to give house elves a just and fair life _(despite the fact they do__ not want it)_. However we continue to need the support we recieve from our _(very few)_ members! That's why we are always on the look out for new people who wish to get involved _(poor you)._

We were founded in 1994 with a few dedicated members _(It started with you, me and Harry... dedicated? Really?)_ and are still going strong! We were set up after I witnessed a gross injustice to the rights of house-elves.

Our aim is simple to give house elves a better quality of life. We want them to have holidays and get paid. If you would like to hear more about our current campaigns then join us for a reguarly newspaper! _(You don't want it.)_

I currently work for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures at the Ministry of Magic with my team. You can visit our office at any time _(Be warned_) . We have many leaflets available for you to take and _(chuck in the bin as soon as possible!)_ enjoy at your leisure.

Sincerely Hermione Granger _(and me!)_

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	41. Signed: Dolores Umbridge

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! I know, an update, from me? A day after I updated last? I felt bad for the ridiculously long wait for the last chapter so I'm trying to make up for it. Enjoy! :)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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**Detention**

To: Fanfiction writers

Where: My office.

When: Thursday night 7pm.

Reason: You need to learn not to tell lies.

Notes: No need to bring your quill.

Signed: Dolores Umbridge

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	42. Sincerely, Gilderoy Lockhart

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! This is what I do to procrastinate. Off ill today :( At least it give me time to write this for you. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

Um... Hello? I think that we need to have a little discussion about these stories - or lack of - about a particular main character. Yes, I feel that you have been overlooking a rather crucial character in the Harry Potter Books - and not Peter Pettigrew, Mark Evans or the Giant Squid.

IT'S ME! I am here. A bit of recognition would be appreciated. Who am I? You do make me laugh! As if you can't tell… I am the five time winner of the _Witch Weekly's Most Charming Smile Award_! I'm sure you've all read my books and admire all my fantastical feats around the globe.

However, you seem to have only written **322** stories about me. While _Astoria Greengrass_ has **963**! Has she saved the world from Vampires, Trolls, Banshees, Ghouls, Hags or Werewolves? Has she got an **Order of Merlin** – Third Class? I think not. Is she a skilled duelist? An accomplished author? A famous wizarding celebrity? NO! She isn't. And the stories you have written about me, rarely emphasize my dazzling good looks, my charming smile or my silky golden locks enough. In fact they seem to show me as a complete opposite to who I really am.

Perhaps the reason for the lack of stories is that you don't feel you can match my skills as an author. Yes, that must be it. Well, never fear! I can give you many tips! We all have to start somewhere. So do not be afraid we can't all be geniuses like me.

For the record, there is nothing wrong with a man caring about his looks. I take pride in my appearance. This does not make me vain! Yes I like my reflection, but who wouldn't when you look as good as me?

I think you need to fix this, immediately. As it really is a most pressing issue. I have attached a signed photograph of myself as a little present to you. My next book-signing is at Flourish and Blotts on the 11th. I will see you there. Hopefully I shall be seeing stories that represent my true personality.

Sincerely, Gilderoy Lockhart

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	43. Sincerely, Mrs Figg

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! I'm ending this story shortly. A reviewer pointed out that the chapters were beginning to sound the same and that is what I have been thinking. I think it will end in the next 2 or 3 chapters. I'm so happy you guys have stuck with this story for so long! Here's the next chapter! :D iheartweasleytwins gave me the idea for the character! :D **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

I am not a crazy cat lady. I enjoy the fine creatures, but I do not starve myself to feed them. I'm a squib, yes, but that does not mean that me and a certain Argus Filch are made for each other. I'm happy with my cats.

htrsvbea\7wmnjy7nm5jqau\8n5z7vs

Sorry, Mrs Tibbles came to say hello to me. Cats are better than people. They are nice and they never leave you.

Sincerely, Mrs Figg

P.S. Lily Evans is not my daughter. Harry is not my Grandson.

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**A/N Read and review please! :)**


	44. Sincerely, Draco Malfoy

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! Most of you agreed so this story is ending soon. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

Fruit is good for your health, you should have 5 a day. Having said this having relationships with fruit is not good for your health. I do like apples, however I am not dating an apple. I enjoy eating apples. I would not eat my girlfriend! What are you on? Drapple? Real?

Sincerely, Draco Malfoy

P.S. My father will hear about this.

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**A/N The story is ending. Read and review please! :)**


	45. Sincerely, Death

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! Merry Christmas!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

They're mine now. Mwuahahahaha.

Sincerely, Death

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**A/N Read and review please!**


	46. Sincerely, Harry Potter

**A/N Thanks for the reviews, alerts and favourites! I want to Avada Kedavra these people.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter.**

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Dear Fanfiction writers,

I feel that I need to clear something up.

In the my second year at Hogwarts, I attended Nearly Headless Nick's Deathday party. He died in 1492. Do a bit of simple Maths and work it out.

1492 + 500

Use a calculator if you must. There's one on the computer or Google for one.

So I hope we've all come to same answer - if you got it wrong... I really do not have time for you people. The answer is 1992. Working backwards this means I was born in 1980. At the time my youngest son goes to Hogwarts it is 2017. My Hogwarts years lasted from 1991-1997 (depending on whether you count the last year as a Hogwart year or not). That is the Harry Potter timeline.

**THIS MEANS WE DO NOT HAVE IPODS!**

Besides that, the fact is electricity does not really work in the magical world. On Colin Creevey's arrival at Hogwarts he had with him a muggle camera. It worked by taking the magical energy in the air and turning it into power. The batteries did not work.

If you must pair us off with people we have no interest in whatsoever or change our sexual orientation. Then the least you can do is stop with the historical inaccuracies. Hermione has not shut up about them for two days!

In conclusion, please get your facts right.

Sincerely, Harry Potter

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**A/N Please read the next chapter :)**


	47. Admin

I needed to do an admin chapter to tie up some loose ends and I didn't want to do a great long AN so this is it. If you have any questions I've tried to answer them in the next chapter, but of course I'll still check my email from time to time if there are any I missed.

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**Read this please!**

That is it! The end! I may update from time to time if another cliché pops up or I just get an idea, but that's it for the (ir)regular updates. I just wanted to say a _m a s s i v e _ thank you to **all** of you! When I started writing this story, I honestly had no idea of what was to come. I remember in early days being excited to cross into double figures in reviews and now look at us. Over 1000! Closing in on 2000! I just want to thank everyone who reviewed and stuck with this story. I feel like I've cheated slightly as they're so many real stories out there with lots of chapters and a plot thought out and everything, who don't have as many reviews as this story. Just thank you. If you reviewed every chapter or just one, it still means a lot to me. If I missed your name or spelt it wrong I apologize in advance. Two things:

1. I'm on tumblr! Mainly Harry Potter stuff so go check me out! My URL is message2you. (don't ask why :P)

2. I've posted a one shot about Cedrella Black (Arthur's mother) so if you want to take a look.

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**Thank you to all my lovely reviewers!**

IceBreaker14, Mika Lero, Remmy Black, , renesmee48, Wetstar, silverbirch, StarGazingAtMidnight, Mercy'sFoundaWayforMe, James018, dragonknight01, Laurel Tree, Rosawyn, Rita Arabella Black, LilDevyl, AnMarie10, Analie Janes, yellow 14, BellaPur, glory boots, shiarein, GinevraXO, chelseyb1010, Confusingish, Omgwtfbbq2010, Icis of Avalon, Jessica682, Clarrisa Constatine, Aurora Lucis, Sophie W. Black, Tamira, loldeletelol, BlueNeutrino, LuvinReadin, Erra Fawkes13, PB Headless, overdramatic comedian, AlphabetSoupBrah, joanivdiesel, Just-As-Loony-As-Luna, DareOfTheDawn, Broken ArchAngel, xbekkarocksx, Teufel1987, KayDee-DesignerExtraordinare, Anti-Banana19, proudtobeatheatrekid, history, HocruxesandHallows, AnYtHiNgBUTtYpIcAl ,Adeline Potter, ConfusionPersonififed, Awfully Archaic, ., How You Love Me Now, TheOrchid, ForeverEvolving, Elizabeththecrazy, LilianaVale, Dimcairien, chadders, Zombiessss, Carina Jones, eresaLovegood, Sapphire addict, bookworm19065, ThatSuperHotSexyBookWorm, I stood in neither, Tenshi Chupip, Mystiksnake, x-HarrypotterNerd-x, Immortalli, sstarstruck, SunshineAndDaisies, SeverusHermioneForever, AFLlover, BlackGryphon101, Dreaming Away Peacefully, , Chasing Ideas, sasha2010, TwiLyghts Sans Sparkles, Fantastyfreak101, Nutella Knighthawk, Kanra-Hei, Kinda Kalamari, AllyDeVille, HinaLuvLuvChan, xXxChoogiexXx, B2J, Sherlein, kitty-, hiskers, StarkidGleek4evs, CanonWorshipper4evah, soratanaka, StarUponHeaven, kutoki, somtimesfairytalesdocometrue, Hugo Purist, Brandy Bandshoe, toxicjade, TwilightandHarryPotterLuv3r, Maloran, mylia11, DreamerBuggy, 05, CMHValex, Silvanesti, Vuor, Emily Mae, pottergoose, don'tblameme33, xXPercidiaJAcksonXx, IfWeLivedaLittleEveryDay, HisLittleBunny, YaoiSlash, A Sirius crush on Moony, x hidden dragon of darkness x, ryuuzaki17, Gone in the Wind, Stolen Sunshine, smartykat, jEssy mISt-miSSy, People-Are-Crazy, CaramelAriana, metalworks, RebellionsBrain, Bob Hammiliton, , MyHeroIsSiriusOrionBlack, Float-Flutter-Fly, Distant Lands, sugarfree25, LaughNowFlyLaterxx, Haljaruna, elizaII, Janelly Slytherin, writinginstars, Misery-loathes-Company, harrypotterluver123, BookNinja4, Madriddler, Silent-Falls, MrSkeeter, harborseal54, LM Ryder, DarkMajishian69, Cherry Louise, EmeraldSunLight, King-of-all-the-bunnies, PshycoSweetness, lunathevamp, Nonsensical-Muse, Lily Incarnate, Tondayala Cherise Dupre, Gwennie333, fan-freak121, Graci-and-Cheri, daretotry12, Spaz86, LaNika, donttouchmykyoya818, Mignun, Mad-HAtter-of-Cheese, OMG-Bannana, TheOnlyMarauderette, starsandsmiles, TempestAmethyst, Lydia Asher, Siriuslover7, The Occidental Rose, Away-with-the-faries, sacha k, Emily Ebriection, Riley Erin, ThatCrazyGirl15, stochmika, Voldemort13, I-Like-Pie-Too-Dean, Shortscribbling, majobloem, AnimeFanBree, lilyandsnape'ssecretlovechikd, NeverBeenDarkMarked, CurrentlyIncognito, ErisMalfoy1990, kjc1123, Mokalyne, Dawn Bently, mary quiet contrary, Lady Drama, dopey4dobby, Sentiel Malfoy, pixie, foolishdesires, youreconfusingme, PureAwesomeness13, Little Miss Music Nerd, Hazelnut Snaps (When I typed your name I accidently typed Hazelnut Snapes :P ), sunshinemagic101, PossimpiblyPossimpible, Crimson Hope, NyxBorn, angelhitomie, Zwart Wit, DrNikiReid, -Babyeex.X, EnigmaticMemory, Stina Whatever, LaDiablo, MandyJane, AquaRibbon, Kiwiheart, Space23Case, MichellexLJx, QuickSilverFox3, the garnetto, Jane Willow, SiriuslyFanatic, movinggirl, mermaidgirl45, .lied, Witch07, LovelyRoses, NCISrockergirl, horseislove, Koraki, elizapi, smiling-is-my-favorite-pastime, livingondaydreams, TheDeathlyHallows-123, GreyHaru, Sachita, Megii of Mysteri OusStranger, L98N, AmeliaQ, Addictive Label, goRikigo, Ulin, Mini Luna, Melodiux, ShowGirl92, whaeverjosie, Duco Lacuna, Weird Shmeird, Anna Kayson, TribalGirl, chrissytingting, SilveryMoon34, , That One Yellow Smiley, Nutella Alchemist, toatlRandum, chocolatecoveredblueberries, littleLaralevin, caution1234, deadlyninjabee, comicfan616, Ferretess, Gizzygirl, Supernova Jes,. 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E. Won, INHERITANCE ROCKS, Caitira, DarthAbby, Masks and Teapots, Rani Jashalithie, Madam Poulain, RebellionsBrain, MaisyB, frenziedquill, MagixDiana, PersianPianist, DaliaGreen, The new Flock member, Infinite Legend, LarryStylisonandWaldez4life1D, CheshiteCat23, FredMonkeyMan, the last time, this world of illusions, lillyflower's revenge, , Thailiapotter, Neeecole66, The Roaming Shadow, the skater bug, Distant Lands, AndreaLion, Riddles of the Werewolf, AwesomeTrombonesGeek7, xXAwesomeSauceXx, corapwnz, Poopsie101, EmtheUnicorn, Everlsating Dawn of Eternity, Infinite Legend, Harietta 'Moony' Bundy, Katherine'-'Snape, Chinky123, batty1313, OrangeZest100, Aimogene, TheGirlInTheDress13, Naomi Hansen, CeeCeeEss, MegaSomebody100, evildictionaryninja, The Chaos Creator, violet sunny, MissSadiesKane, The-Mourning-Kitty-Kat, EmilyMarie15, .Tigress.12, Seventh Sunset, LilyRose95, youwantedmedead, awesomeness33, ashtonangel13, TheOddEnigma, jistawriter33, Eljel, Pigfarts-It's On Mars, IceDragon19, Ansa88, fantasygeek101, Ordinarily, Slytherins Dragon123, JessieLightyear, Annyg, Jecca Black Potter, madnessdownunder2, Commander Ael, nevershoutneverwillbeforever, theatregurljj, harrypotterobsessed33, MoonEyedWriter, MissCHSparkles, mugglelover88, kasssumi, Orion'96, SmileYou'reWICKED, Soshoryu, Monsters-Need-Love-Too, Broadway4eva, MisplacedSanity, Luna yes Luna, Linnup, Rani Jashalithie, DeletedORRemovedAccount, wisps of smoky blue cloud, Madipwns512, LizziePixie-Aiko, Violetsong, CK Geisener, Invisiblegirl3, Naie Masen Cullen, EightCloseBracket, Through Another's Eyes, Scorpian, evanescentaless, Bubbles of Colours, Happygirl122, AmyRose512, raregirlrox, SincerelyMNM, RCA7, Firebornfox, ShadowofaDarkSlytherin, Popcorn Life, ShellyLynette, OctoberSunlight, candy3314, Ruan Chun Xian, stars fall at midnight, ranger lucy, faeriemaiden96, lialovegood, Shubhs, Northumbrian, LynnAshe, Huffleclawmage, Oirasse, Ignis Lupus, TheAlieVee, Jacky Dupree, pjoy11, dulceInvierno, wolfergirl, Tzadikim, BeMyHeroSeverus, deepstreak, stabatmater, Horch, hannawolf, Dirty Little Half-Blood, Paimpont, StormTheVeela, crazy-wee-cat, Jayne Mays, Kina Kalamari, Kimzona, Jemennuie, Leanora, skaterofthebooks, RidingonRumbleroar'sback, Silver'ssong, sheeiilaa, pengirl100and2, lilui, Blood of the Dawn, JuicyLucy921, TheDamnRock, MissMalfoy77, Seeing Sasha, BlazeStryker, Laura Potter is awesome, au revoir sim1, iggsplosives, fnick girl, Sirius J Potter, Vaughn Tyler, NinjaBananaPeel, theintrigueddirigibleplum, Ferret1623, rainbowrainingkitten, InventorOfFirebolt, NymphadoraTonks-RemusLupin, Glorilian, Cheshire Chameleon, TotalHarryPotterGirl, WizardWay, , lleHibou, Gizzygirl, Sebas of the Ocean Waves, Larka-chan, Katzztar, TheOrchid, iluvcoffee123, Happy-Ever-After-911, Riddikulus-Grin, Leather Dragon, AmazingWingedGirl, RukiaGallega, alfiesurprise101, x Shut Up And S m i l e, Xellos No Himitsu, harrypotter-hoa-pjo FREAK, StoriesAreMagic, My Faithless Regrets, i-love-harrypotter-xx, Angel-Of-Death-136, SlytherinTribute, Silver Raccon, GinnyEvans4, Silimaira, kitimandiri, reader962, Bros4Life, babedarlingpotter, Morcelu, cheygrl94, littlemissstarkid, phoenixfelicis07, ponyiowa, F r a p p e, Violet Scarlet Lily, The Original Horcrux, Flynnigan Rider, astoldbytehgan, Echo101, Er-my-nee Weasley, gabbygirl89, Sealand Likes Internet Memes, AniDenDav, LilyLunafan622, charsuibau, hp-t-sm rule, xLycheeRAiN, Suicix, Flower in the River, haylstags, WhyJayTeeSee, Miss Napier, Stereophonic Aftershock, Pheobetitanessofthemoon1234, Midnightstar-and-Echosong, CrystalIceLover, Nico's-Girlfriend-Cassy, Midget Lily, Cissa The Bookworm

Anonymous;

These are the anonymous reviews. I remember when I didn't have an account so would leave anonymous reviews and wanted to include you guys as well. :)

Just me, Alice, Piper Lestrange, Jenna, Draco's favourite witch, xD, Seraphy, , Iloveyouforthis, BJF, doesntmatter, PurplePicklesInPeru, Suggestions, , OMG, Kaylijj, The Glowing Mischief, Draco, Goomba, Girlwithnoaccount, , keia wolf rider, 12lulu12, 00, SlytherinRose, emerald-rei, Emily, Damien Black, no one you need to know, mel, ,black arrow, Hahahaha, Anon, anon, QueenOfUntiedShoelaces, Addie Potter, , , fanfic addict, Anonymous, Ashley, Gen, katkatkat, Helen Flamel, Sorry just trying something, cubangirl, Remi, Remo,BiancaBlairJackson, Kingsdaughter613, May1011, , Leelee333, Upon reading chapter 18/17/16/15/13/10/1/33/5, DiedLaughing, Redwolf, I enjoy pie., Zophie, SunnyChild, , Lise Pretter, Izzy Marie, Vi, ShillaBakery, anon, PsychoBrunette, Snape needs a hug from Lily, Anony Mouse, Autumnleaftrack, 123ABC, ellengurl11, Erinnyes, phoenixflight, MissJuniorMinty, PineappleMoon, Anonymous, iluvluna1456, Sarah, Police stop this, Beth, man, Robin Goodfellow, Me, Darth Vadar, fanfiction writer G, MasterBrattan, stalker, Harry Potter, majobloem, Pallzc, Battery Monster, , Hannah, Charsuibau, starkidpotter, DD, CissaMae, Name, Bloody Hell You Git, XORayleneXO, l, 9169padfoot, SelenaJelenafan

Yes I typed every single one of your names out. That is how much I love you.

T h a n k y o u.


	48. FAQs

**FAQs**

I get asked these a lot so here I'm answering them:

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**Q.** Can I use this idea for another fandom?

A. Yes! Of course you can and tell me about it because I may read them! Just make sure you credit the idea!

* * *

**Q.** Can I use this idea for the Harry Potter fandom?

A. Yes, however you must credit me and tell me. I'm fine with it as long as I know. I had an issue with someone plagiarizing this story and actually copying word for word some of the chapters. If you see a story like this without credit being given then please tell me as I really have to watch this. If you do tell me about it's fine. In fact I quite like a few of them (Nutella Knighthawk and HocruxesandHallows - two very good ones) so I would like to read them. :D

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**Q.** What the hell was the Regulus chapter? Trying to make us all depressed?

A. Er yeah... Sorry about that one. I wasn't happy I sense that definitely came across in the chapter.

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**Q.** Is this cliche real?

A. Yes, I do not invent them. They're all real. Search for them and you will find them. Read them and lose faith in humanity.

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**Q.** Why must you shoot down our ideas? It's FanFICTION. OMG H o r i z o n s you're so stupid!

A. Um yeah... guys hello this is a **story**. This is how **I**, the author, think the **characters** would react to the over used plots. It's not my opinion. I have already said this, but obviously (Snape voice) you didn't pay attention.

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**Q.** Are you a gay-hater?

A. Seriously? No I'm not. I just do not ship Sirius/Remus or Snape/Sirius or Snape/Remus etc. I don't believe in making characters gay for no apparent reason. Sorry to disappoint y'all.

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**Q.** Why is this cliche not here?

A. Sorry guys I try and do them all, but there's so many it's hard to fit them all in. I am sorry if I missed your pet-peeve.

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**Q.** Is Chapter four a quote from Mean Girls?

A. Yes, yes it is. Cookies for the people who got that. There was only about 10 of you. I've put it in the A/N for that chapter. ;P

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**Q.** HATE HATE HATE

A. Haters gonna hate. Don't like. Don't read. Do something productive with your life. Especially if you leave anonymous reviews.

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**Q.** Why didn't you answer my question here?

A. Like I said, I tired to do them all, but if you have another one then review and tell me.

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.

The

End


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